My Unfunny Thoughts on Painting Competitions

I humbly present my not especially funny thoughts on miniature painting competitions. Obviously, Games Workshop’s Golden Demon competition looms pretty large in our end of the hobby, but there are plenty of other contests – past and present. I think my thoughts here will apply to all of them. 

Who Cares What I Think?

As it happens, I have competed in, won, lost and judged a number of the larger miniature painting competitions throughout the years. I say this not as any sort of brag, but just to give some perspective to my thoughts. I certainly don’t think of myself as a top tier painter – especially these days. I’m just a decent painter who has seen some shit. As I am but an anonymous internet crank, you are free to disbelieve my credentials.

The Good

I enjoy painting, as many of you do. After 35 years of painting, I have come to understand that the best reason to paint is to enjoy my time here on earth. In the past, painting competitions have provided me with a motivation to paint, and a date to finish a project by. Much like tournaments and campaigns, painting comps have been a way to get myself excited about painting. Competitions are also times and places where I have met up with long-time hobby friends and met new ones. The importance of live human contact cannot be overstated, especially for grumpy old men like myself. A great deal of what I know about painting has come from friends I’ve met at conventions and whatnot, and I am lucky to have many friends who are much better painters than I am. I have also learned a great deal from the mere act of entering painting competitions. Looking in the cases and sizing up the competition to see what I need to do next time has been invaluable. You will get to see some awesome stuff. If you play your cards right, you might even get to hold some awesome pieces and study them up close. For me anyway, learning and improving my painting over the years has been satisfying and validating in and of itself. 

Speaking of which – validation – a slippery and sometimes dangerous thing. I’m pretty sure anyone who ever entered some such competition was seeking some sort of validation, whether they care to admit it or not. Whether someone just wants to make a respectable showing at the Golden Yetis, get a nifty first cut pin. or win yet another Crystal Ding-Dong for their shelf – they are probably seeking some validation. I know I was once upon a time. It’s a natural human instinct. I wish we could all do things just for our own enjoyment and the enjoyment of others, but it doesn’t always work that way. So yeah, I think a little external validation can be healthy. I guess? Maybe? Anyway, we all need to be careful and keep it in perspective. This all applies to seeking validation on the internet as well, but that is a whole other boring ramble.

The Bad

If you want to make your hobby and your free time a lot more stressful, this is a great way to do it. I have watched many friends spend a year working on an entry while they slowly moved up the big hill of the emotional rollercoaster, finally cresting the day they dropped their model off for judging. I’ve watched highly successful, well-adjusted 40 and 50-something guys be not be able to sleep because of this shit. I’ve watched them stare into the case for hours and hours and hours. I’m not suggesting this should stop anyone from entering these things, but you should be prepared for a little extra stress in your life.

Also, losing. Losing feels shitty – sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. You probably knew that.

& the Ugly

Most of the discussion around painting competitions falls into two categories: 

1. “Holy fucking shit, did you see Model X!? I melted like a Nazi in Raiders of the Lost Ark when I basked in its heavenly glory, but it was worth it.”
2. “Holy fucking shit, why the fuck did Model Y get gold? The judges are clearly on meth, that thing is a giant steaming turd-monster.”

As you may have guessed, I am going to focus here on category number 2. The judging at any competition will come down to the group of judges that happen to be working at a given event. Judging is always highly subjective and never easy. Some judges are good and some are not so good. A few are terrible, and if they are domineering enough they can can completely fuck up the results of a competition. Judges also judge on lots of different criteria that vary from judge to judge. Some are strictly technical, some are far more interested in narrative and emotion - things which are very hard to quantify. Having said all of that – I believe all the judges I’ve met over the years were honest and well intentioned. Well, there was one guy who was fucking batshit, but I think even he thought he was doing good, in his own very warped perception of things. 

I should also note, that in my experience and understanding, judges are not given a whole lot of guidance on how to judge – this very much includes Golden Demon judges. After every Golden Demon competition, there are rumblings about some sort of ever-shifting document or code about how Games Workshop staff are told to judge Golden Demon. It has been my experience that there is no such thing, and I have never seen or heard of any evidence of it. The reason the judging standards and criteria can seem random and chaotic, is there are no well-defined standards or criteria – well, none that are outside of the printed rules available to everyone. Again it just comes down to who is judging that particular day. This goes for every other contest I’ve been a part of as well.

Side Bar that isn’t a Side Bar – That Whole Screwy Crystal Brush Online Voting Thing

The only competition I can think of where it didn’t solely come down to judges judging based on their own thoughts and experience was the Cool Mini or Not Crystal Brush awards. They used a system where a small part of the scoring for each category was determined by an online voting system. This was of course done to promote the CMoN website, but it was an awful, unfair idea, and I have never heard anyone have anything good to say about it. I can only hope that no one ever bothered to rig it or better yet, that CMoN in reality did not actually use it as part of their scoring.

Also, understand that judging is a difficult and thankless task. It always feels like a great honor to be asked to do it, but it is always hard work, usually exhausting and sometimes fucking excruciating. You should also understand that unless you have carefully looked at all the models under good lighting and under magnification (if you are old like me), then you don’t really know what the judges saw. You saw them on the internet? Were the photos big enough for you to really see everything? Were there photos from every angle? Even underneath? Were the photos taken under the same light? Did the photographer know what they were doing? Did someone retouch the photos at all? Was that someone the artist? Was the artist able to restrain themself from doing more than just removing dust? You did not see what the judges saw. 

So yeah, judging is all over the map. Here’s the thing though: there is nothing you can do about it. I’m not sure there is a whole lot anyone can do about it. There could be better defined judging criteria and organizers could be more careful in their selection of judges. At the end of the day, there is still going to be a lot of variation from judge to judge and as a participant, you are going to just have to learn to roll with it.

Guess what though? Judging isn’t the ugly part. The ugly part is the inevitable public second-guessing of judges and particularly the public criticism of winning entries. I can’t think of a better way to ruin someone’s hobby for them. People are trash.

Side Bar that isn’t a Side Bar – Open-style Competitions

These are competitions where the judges are free to give out as may gold, silver and bronze awards as they like in any category. This type of judging is common in competitions for airplane, armor, ship and car scale modeling. I gather it has also gained momentum in Europe in the miniature painting scene. The only major contest I know of that uses this system in the US is the Capital Palette at the Nova Open. The upside to this system is obvious: more people go home happy. The downside is the judging takes a lot longer. Every model above a certain threshold has to be given serious consideration. As a judge, my instinct is to give out as many awards as possible, so less people hate me – so this all seems perfect to me. I have noticed though that this system can lead to a certain degree of expectation and entitlement among the participants. I can also see situations where certain participants will come to the same show every year and park themselves at the same level, just to keep raking in trophies, never really pushing themselves to improve. I guess that isn't a terrible thing, just something to think about. I do know that a lot of very good painters end up being really disappointed, even devastated in zero-sum contents like Golden Demon. Winner-takes-all systems create a lot of heartache, and it's good to know alternatives are taking root.

My Unsolicited Advice

Big Picture

1. Study the winners from past competitions and be honest with yourself about where your work is and what you should be aiming for. Don’t let this demoralize you, just be realistic, and…
2. Set goals you can actually achieve. Don’t aim for a slayer sword straight away. Start with smaller local painting competitions or aim for making the “First Cut” at a bigger competition.
3. Enter lots of things over the course of your hobby career. The more you do it, the less tumultuous it will get for you. If you are serious about painting you will eventually win something or other, whether a first cut pin at Golden Demon or a plaque for best painted at a tournament. This will give you confidence and some inner peace moving forward.
4. Have no expectations. I know you really want whatever you want, I’ve been there. Keep that shit in check.

Creating Your Entry

1. Read the damn rules. Do you want to spend months working on an entry only to have it disqualified on a technicality?
2. Regarding competitions held by a miniature manufacturer - The Golden Demons play a big part in my thoughts here, but this applies to any contest put on by a specific manufacturer. If a competition is put on by a company to promote their own models, then their Judges will likely be looking for paint jobs that fit into the narrative and aesthetic of the universe they are promoting. These kinds of competitions are marketing tools. If you don’t like that, I recommend you don’t enter them. If though, you are entering this type of competition and hoping to win, I would suggest staying within the lines as best you can perceive them. Be conservative. Don’t use any parts from another manufacturer, don’t allude to another intellectual property or fantasy universe and don’t enter a roller-skating space llama that you made out of a hundred Space Marines. Actually, please do that, just understand you won’t win. You can still be plenty creative within these kinds of limitations. How much these IP/universe considerations come into play still comes down to individual judges though, and as such, will vary wildly. You can certainly create a protest entry to show the world that your talent and creativity cannot be caged, but you probably won’t win. That seems like an awful lot of work to make a point that not many people will notice. That seems like an awful lot of work for a result that will make you feel bad. If I were, I would save my wackier models for more open-ended painting comps - or better yet, organize your own painting competition.
3. These kinds of unwritten, soft rules take some experience to figure out. I would suggest talking to other participants about them. While I recommend being conservative in some ways, I don’t think you need to go overboard. For example, I do not think Golden Demon judges give preference to recent releases, Space Marines, or the ‘Eavy Metal painting style. You might get an individual judge who leans one way or another, but I have never seen any evidence of those kinds of strict marketing-driven guidelines.
4. Consider the categories. First of all, choose categories and projects that excite you. You will need that excitement to carry you through to the completion of a long, intense project. If you are in it to win it, you may want to consider which categories you have the best shot in. Generally, single miniature categories are the hardest. Squads, vehicles and large models tend to be easier, as do oddball categories like duel, diorama, weird scales and less popular game systems. You never know what is going to be in any category until the day of though, so don’t drive yourself crazy trying to game the categories.
5. Enjoy painting, this is the best part – way more fun than awkwardly accepting a little statue from some weird guy with a microphone who clearly likes to hear himself talk. OK, that does feel pretty good though.
6. Keep having no expectations.

During

1. If possible, have a support network of friends with you at the event. Even better, if they are hobby/painting friends
2. Hand your model off to the people behind the desk and walk away. Do not walk over to your category and size up the competition. Do not spend your whole weekend coming back and repeating this over and over again. You will drive yourself fucking crazy. Go play some Necromunda, take some painting classes, have tacos with your friends. Tacos are great.
3. Yep, still no expectations.

After

1. If you win something, be humble and gracious. 
2. If you lose, be humble and gracious. It is ok to be bummed out. Have some ice cream.
3. Only talk to a judge afterwards if you are doing so to seek advice and encouragement. For the love of god, do not talk to a judge if you want to explain to them why you should have won, even if, well actually, it is obvious they were a fucking fool and you clearly should have won. Again, go get some ice cream instead.
4. Win or lose, maybe don’t delve too deep into the internet the next week. If you are feeling good, you don’t want the internet to fuck that up for you. If you are feeling bad, you don’t want the internet to make you feel worse.
5. If you weren’t happy with a judge’s decision regarding your model, do not broadcast that on the internet. Shut your stupid face. Tell your friends to please shut their stupid faces - You don’t need a sour grapes shill. You might be wrong; you might be right. Either way, now your time for you to shut the fuck up.
6. For the love of fucking fuck, do not publicly criticise another participant’s model on the internet – fucking ever. Not even a tiny fucking bit. Fuck.

Side Bar that isn’t a Side Bar – Winning Best Painted Army in a Tournament

Forget about it. The odds of you pulling a really good judge for this are slim. Most likely you will get some guy who is friends with the TO, who will do it all as quickly as possible, use a rubric, and grade everyone really gently. Beautifully painted armies will lose out to mediocre armies for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it will be because a mediocre army checked more boxes on a rubric – like a display base or conversions or fucking LED lights. Sometimes the judge won’t know a goddamn thing about painting. Sometimes the judge will just like Space Wolves better than whatever your army is. Sometimes the judge will literally be drunk. Sometimes you will get bumped out of best painted because you accidentally won best sportsmanship. Don’t worry about it. If you are a good painter, you will win these sorts of things periodically. Just don’t count on it. 

That’s it

I focused on a lot of the fussy bits here, because, well, those are the things that people fuss about – and you’ve probably heard a little of that. Hopefully I dispelled a few myths and gave you some idea what these things are actually like. Maybe it will help somebody. Have fun painting, and do it for its own sake. Tacos are great.